i wrote somewhere i can't find

“love is not a feeling..love is a decision..”

I decide to love you. May Allah grant my D’ua to be with you forever. 

I want it end. I’m not sure myself, but I don’t want any heartache.

I feel like I want to give up on us. But I can’t be too selfish.

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with us. Its either we love too much or too less.

I hope, as strong as it should be.

Not a good day for me. Final exam will be around 12 days from now and I’m sick. I don’t know what is wrong with me. My head is killing me, eating food is not helping at all cause I’ll vomit. And to tell the truth, I lost my spirit. I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately. And worst, I feel like my life is fucked up. I wish I could tell my friends about my problems, but every time I tried to open my mouth, nothing comes out. It really stressing me out. I wish I could meet some strangers and talk about how I feel and what boggles in my mind. Or some strangers that will just listen to what I want to say, scream or cry. Its hard for me to open up with people that are close with me. It just plain hard. People tend to judge. So I prefer to keep it all inside. And I hope I have a strong heart that will hold this pain as much as it should be. Ya Allah, please help me. :’/ 

Me,

25 April 12 ; 23:49

*sigh*

Funny isn’t it? When someone you love use the same pick up line to you like he used it to his ex? He thinks that you don’t know, but when he said it, I think it was all bullshit. :)